Lord, I Am Not Worthy

5th Sunday in Ordinary Time
Cycle C
Is 6:1-2a,3-8
1 Cor 15: 1-11
Lk 5:1-11

There is a parishioner I have known for many years; one of the most unselfish, generous, and loving people I know. She especially loves little children. A few years back she asked to serve as a Eucharistic Minister. I began to notice that she never chose to distribute the hosts, only the Precious Blood. Even when she was a lead minister, she always chose the cup. Finally I asked her why, and her answer surprised me. She said that she never gave out the hosts because that meant she would also have to give a blessing to the babies and little children, and she felt unworthy to do so. With all the goodness I knew she had in her, she didn’t think she was good enough to touch the children. That saddened me.

It seems to be a common attitude. We consider Isaiah to be one of the greatest prophets. We call St. Paul “The Apostle”, even though he was not one of the twelve. We revere St. Peter as the leader of the apostles and our first pope. All three are heroes and saints. Yet all three really didn’t think much of themselves either, did they? They didn’t think they had what it takes to serve the Lord. It wasn’t some false sense of humility. They really didn’t think they were worthy to serve as God was calling them, and, like my friend, they really didn’t want to do it, either. Many of us feel the same way.

What is worthiness? Where do we get it? Is it something that we earn? Is it an inner feeling we have or something bestowed upon us by others? Is it just our sense of self esteem or is it something more? Why do some people worry about it so much that they cannot even see the ultimate good in themselves?

Why would something keep you from touching the children?

We feel worthy when we believe we deserve to get something or do something. We feel worthy when we’re proud of our actions, when we see ourselves as good people who do good things. But we don’t always see ourselves as good, do we? We don’t always do good things, and that affects how we view ourselves. But that doesn’t affect how our God sees us.

God does not create evil. He does not create bad things. He creates only good.
We think of worthiness in terms of our own productivity and actions. We are worthy because we do something. Not so with God. You are worthy simply because God has made you worthy. We cannot earn worthiness with God; we can never pretend that we can be perfect as God is perfect on our own. God has willed you to be with him. He has created you good. He has willed you to be worthy.

Last week we heard the Lord tell the prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” Before you were even conceived, God knew you. God knew what you would look like, who your family would be, where you would live, how you would grow up, what career you would choose, who you would marry, who your children would be, and how and when you would die. He knew all the good you would do and all the sins you would commit…and he created you anyway. Because even with all your imperfections and failings, you are still inherently good. Because God created you that way. In His image. Which is the ultimate good.

That is the basis of every Church teaching…that human beings have been created with great inherent dignity and worth. Simply because God has chosen to look on us that way. Every teaching on human life – abortion and euthanasia, sexuality and marriage, economic equality and immigration – has its basis in that fact. You are worthy. You have worth, even if you cannot do anything for yourself. Even if you are not productive. Even if you have no money or title. God cares not for these things. He cares only for you.

Catholic Christian belief is that God has created everyone inherently good. We’re good people who sometimes screw up. We sin, we confess, and we change our lives. Some other Christians see humanity as the opposite, as inherently sinful and evil people who need to be saved. Catholics are optimists, and our view of the world is optimistic. We do not ignore the sin and evil present in the world; on the contrary, we are some of the most vocal denouncers of that evil wherever it rears its ugly head. But we do not paint humanity with one broad brush. We take it down to the level of the individual, who has dignity and not only needs to be saved, but can actually be saved.

There is hope for everyone, even for Saul of Tarsus, who went so far as to persecute and kill the followers of Christ. There is hope for Simon Peter, who actually denied he even knew Jesus in his darkest hour. Because Jesus didn’t see Saul as a Roman Citizen, or a Jew, or a Pharisee, and therefore dismiss him out of hand. He didn’t see Simon Peter as a dirty, illiterate fisherman, and therefore ignore him. There were many people on that lakeside beach. Jesus knew all their hearts. He chose to hop in Peter’s boat. No labels or prejudices. Jesus saw them as individuals. He knew them before they were formed in the womb. He knew who they were destined to be, with all their imperfections. He loved them even though he knew they would both reject him at some time in their lives. And he created them anyway.

It is at the time of our denial of God that God holds us closest and gives us the opportunity to love him. Saul was on his way to arrest Christians when he had his conversion. Peter’s moment of truth was in that courtyard right after he denied his Lord, and he wept bitterly. At that moment he realized what he had done and determined never to deny Jesus again, even unto death.

In a few minutes we will all take part in the greatest sign of our worthiness, as Jesus Christ himself will become part of our very selves. Before we receive him, body, soul and divinity, we will say together, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed.” This is not a moment of penitence. We already had the penitential rite at the beginning of Mass. We don’t have to say we’re sorry one last time before we receive communion. No, our declaration is one of hope. In saying it, we acknowledge our true relationship with God. We state that we know we are not worthy and can never make ourselves worthy. Only God can do that. And just as all creation was willed into being by God with a word; it is by the Word of God that we shall be healed. Jesus. And he does will us to be worthy. He does will us to be able to be in his presence. Both today and forever.

Once we come to grips with this awesome gift from God, once we use it to realize our own place in the great scheme of things, once we embrace exactly what our relationship with God is, only then can we live lives of true humility. Unworthiness leads to humiliation. Freely given and freely accepted worthiness leads to humility. And humility leads to a life of true service to God and to his people.

He makes us worthy to be sent out as his prophets, apostles, and fishers of men. Because that’s the ultimate result of God’s plan for us. He makes us worthy to represent him to the world, to be sacrament to mankind. Isaiah, Paul, Peter and all the apostles came to the realization that once they were made worthy they had to do something with it. They couldn’t just sit at home and think they had it made. They were all called to go out and spread that same message of worthiness to all of God’s people. Even though for all of them it meant a martyr’s death.

We may not be called to be martyrs, but we are all called to love.

We are all called to touch the children.