Feelin' Small

31^st Sunday in Ordinary Time

Cycle C

Last week we heard the story of the prayer of the Pharisee versus the prayer of the tax collector. Today we meet the tax collector.

Luke says that Zacchaeus was short of stature, and that he ran ahead to climb a sycamore tree in order to get a good look at Jesus. Zacchaeus was not a man concerned with appearances. A grown man in Jesus’ time did not climb trees. It would not be dignified. But then, Zacchaeus was not overly concerned with what other people thought, was he? He was the chief tax collector for Jericho, and he had gotten rich mainly by charging exorbitant fees on top of the taxes he collected from his neighbors for the hated Roman Empire. He had chosen wealth over prestige and honor long ago.

Why did Zacchaeus need to climb that tree? It wasn’t because he was short. If he were a man of influence and respect, the people would have let him move up to the front of the crowd so he could not only see Jesus but meet him. But no, his countrymen despised him and crowded him out. He was forced into that tree. He was forced into the humiliating position of having to climb a tree in order to see. Zacchaeus was probably used to being humiliated. He knew what his neighbors thought of him, and even his great wealth could not insulate him from their insults.

Have you ever been really embarrassed by something you did? Were you ever picked on as a kid? How did you feel? Did you want to curl up in a ball and disappear? Did you want to become small and invisible? I think Zacchaeus is a metaphor for what our sins do to us, how they make us feel. When we do something that we know is wrong, we feel small. We want to hide ourselves and our sins from view. We don’t feel very good about ourselves. When we are proud we stand up tall. When we are embarrassed we hunch over and make ourselves small. A good man is a pillar of the community. We say a man without honor is a small man. That was Zacchaeus.

But Jesus found him. Jesus was actually looking for him. He didn’t say, “Zacchaeus, can I come over to your house?” He said, Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay at your house." He didn’t ask permission, he told him that he was compelled to stay with him that day. Do any of you remember Father Reyes Rodriguez? He was serving here at St. Mary’s and St. Lawrence for awhile several years ago. Once, on Super Bowl Sunday, just before the game was to start, the doorbell rang and it was Fr. Reyes standing on my porch unannounced. He said, “Hello, Zacchaeus, I must come and watch the Super Bowl at your house today.” Then he proceeded to plop himself down on the couch, kicked off his shoes, and put his feet up on the coffee table to watch the game. I was so surprised all I could do was grab him a beer.

Something happened to Zacchaeus that day, something that changed his life forever. We have no record of what Jesus said to him or what he did, but we know the effects. Jesus gave Zacchaeus a way out of his sinfulness. He offered him redemption. Zacchaeus felt small because his neighbors shunned him. Jesus gave him prestige when he chose to stay with him out of all the people in Jericho. He gave him honor and value when he told the good Jews, “This man too is one of you. He is also a son of Abraham. You may not like him or approve of how he lives his life, but he has value. He has so much value that I want to dwell with him.”

Zacchaeus was hunkered down and Jesus lifted him up. Zacchaeus responded to Jesus’ offer of redemption. And it brought salvation to his house. How many times do we feel unworthy of love? How many times do we make poor choices in our lives and think ourselves worthless failures? How many times do people humiliate us because of it? How many times do we feel small?

Zacchaeus had the advantage of having Jesus himself to lift him up, but all we have is each other. We may intellectually know that God loves us no matter what. We may tell ourselves that at least God will never reject us. We can hear the words from Wisdom today, “For you love all things that are and loathe nothing that you have made; for what you hated, you would not have fashioned,” and that’s all very good, but do they ever really change things in our lives? Do they stop the bullying? We can hear these words of comfort yet still live in fear of humiliation from our neighbors who don’t approve of our lifestyles. Bumper stickers that proclaim, “Jesus Loves You”, are all well and good, but unless someone actually lives that love for us in the real world they are just words.

We know that Jesus loves us, but we want the love of other people, too, don’t we? Jesus went straight to the sinner because he was compelled to. Do we do the same? Jesus knew that Zacchaeus felt small because of his sins and was hiding in a tree on the outskirts of town, hoping to see him. Jesus knew that his lifestyle was sinful, but he went to him anyway. Remember that the next time you judge someone because you think they are living a sinful life. Remember that the next time you see a gay couple walking down the street holding hands, or a couple who is cohabitating or divorced and remarried outside the Church. Remember that the next time your teenage daughter comes home late with her deadbeat boyfriend and you know what they’ve been doing. Remember that when you make them feel small with a snide comment or a disapproving glance just to make yourself feel superior. We say we hate the sin but love the sinner, but do we?

“This man too is a son of Abraham.”

All Zacchaeus wanted was a chance to repent. All he wanted was someone to accept him and give him a way out. He repented far too quickly for it to have been a spur of the moment decision for him. He knew he was doing wrong. He had been thinking about this for a long time; he just needed a plan and a push. He needed someone to give him the invitation with no judgments attached. He needed to feel he had value as a human being, just because he was created by a loving God. Jesus gave that to him. Do you think the people in our lives are any different? Are we ourselves really any different from Zacchaeus?

In a short while Jesus would be walking down another road, surrounded by people who were mocking and hitting and humiliating him. You could say he also climbed a tree, but not because he wanted to see, but in order to be seen by all.