Jacquie Miller Funeral Homily

For in fire gold is tested, and worthy women in the crucible of humiliation.

Such a beautiful metaphor, and one so appropriate for Jacquie’s life and death. Because Jacquie was pure gold. She had a tough time these last few years. Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease, robbing us of our memories along with our life. It’s sad to think that in the end Jacquie could not remember all her loved ones who surrounded her. But she knew we were there, and she knew we all loved her. And like a little child, all Jacquie was left with in the end was her most basic emotion. Love. I think that’s what Jesus means when he tells us that unless we become like little children we will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. For the Alzheimer’s patient is left with what’s truly important, like a child.

They say that when a person has Alzheimer’s their true personality comes out. Grumpy people become grumpier. Happy people are happier. That was true with Jacquie. Even when she was in great pain after her fall last year, the worst she could say was “Darn it, please don’t do that!” She carried on a happy conversation with everyone she came in contact with, even if she didn’t make much sense. And when I went to see her the morning she died, she was lying there with such a serene smile on her face. It was like she had a happy secret. And she did.

We witnessed Jacquie’s decline into Alzheimer’s and may have thought how meaningless, how tragic her life had become. But we believe that every life has meaning, no matter how long or short it is. Every human being is created in the image of God, and therefore is created with great dignity. That is why we honor each and every life. This afternoon we are gathered to celebrate the life of a woman who died of Alzheimer’s. This morning we celebrated the life of a little baby who died in the womb. What society may consider to be worthless, unproductive lives hold great value to us. What the world sees as humiliation we see as an example of what it means to live in the moment.

Jacquie had no choice but to live in the moment. And we should learn from that. All Jacquie had was her today. She had her present. She lost her memories, but that’s really all our pasts are. Our life is our present. Our life is this moment only. Like Jacquie we have no idea what’s going to happen next. All we can be sure of is this one moment. And this one. And this one. All our lives are just linked short moments of time. Always in the present.

Some people look at trying times as tests from God. Other people wonder how a loving God could allow good people to suffer so needlessly. God doesn’t work that way. Life is what it is, and we choose how we deal with the struggles in life. Becoming disciples of Jesus doesn’t mean that all our cares and troubles will fade away. We’re all going to find life burdensome at some time or other. That’s life. We can’t change it. And Jacquie’s strong faith didn’t change the circumstances of her life. Being disciples doesn’t mean we get a free pass. It just means that maybe we’ll be better able to handle life’s troubles if we live as Jesus did. Jacquie may not have been consciously aware of that, but the way she lived her life proved it out.

Christians have always believed that suffering has meaning, that when we offer up our suffering for someone else it has great power. Suffering is a fact of life, brought about by the tendency of humanity to turn from the will of God. God does not will us to suffer, he wants us to be like we were in the Garden of Eden, free from want and free from death. But God understands the reality of suffering, and he himself came to us to share in our suffering. God used death, the death of his Son, to destroy death for us all. God used the very thing that kept us from him to bring us to him.

Before her disease progressed, Jacquie and I would sit in her room and pray for people in the parish and in her family who were sick or in trouble. She never asked to pray for herself, only for others. We talked about offering up our sufferings for the benefit of others. She understood the power of her prayer. And she knew that there were people out there who were offering their suffering up for her. If we understand that reality, we shouldn’t shrink from suffering when it is thrust upon us. Instead, we can take something evil and turn it to the good.

And so this afternoon we celebrate the life of love and the life of faith that was Jacquie’s. We gather to tell stories, share remembrances, and take solace in each other and in the love that God has for us. The greatest sign of that love is Jesus’ promise that there is more to life than this world alone. The first words Jesus said to his disciples that first Easter were “Be not afraid”. He said them over and over again. Be not afraid. Because in the resurrection the promise of everlasting life has been fulfilled. We need never fear death again. Jesus’ death has conquered death, and his resurrection is our promise of eternal life.

And that promise is the reason we are gathered here today. The first disciples believed that Jesus was the Son of God because they witnessed him risen after death. And that was a wonderful thing. But there would be no Christianity today if it weren’t for those words he spoke to them in John’s gospel this afternoon, “And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.” Jesus didn’t just go to heaven and leave us here alone. He went to prepare heaven for us, so that we would be with him forever.

We have no idea what is in store for us. The most wonderful thing we could imagine wouldn’t be enough. Jacquie now knows the fulfillment of that promise. She now sees God as he is. Face to face. Her hope is now ours.